


It's Not Always About the Physical

by Rivermoon1970



Category: James Bond (Craig movies)
Genre: Dom/sub, Light Angst, Light BDSM, M/M, Mental/Domestic Domination, Relationship Negotiations, Slash
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-04-17
Updated: 2019-04-17
Packaged: 2020-01-15 16:50:41
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 12,515
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18503059
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Rivermoon1970/pseuds/Rivermoon1970
Summary: James meets Q for the first time at a public munch he attends at his favorite pub. What starts out as friendship and flirting quickly turns into a different kind of Dom/sub relationship. James has a knack for getting Q out of the mental and intellectual spirals he often can't get himself out of. Of course when feelings begin to manifest, James knows he's in trouble.





	It's Not Always About the Physical

**Author's Note:**

  * For [Boffin1710](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Boffin1710/gifts).



> This was run through grammarly, but no Beta. No non-consensual beta allowed.

James was sitting back in the booth sipping the Smithwick’s he had been nursing most of the night. This was not the time to indulge too much in alcohol, he had needed to get out of his boring apartment and the munch he had found months ago had been perfect for him. The gathering was out of the way of the prying eyes of Six and other nosy agents.

James had known who and what he was from the age of sixteen when he had stumbled into an obscure used bookstore that catered to alternative lifestyles. Sneaking in the back and reading books that would have made most people blush, James discovered others who felt just like he did. The bookstore owner, James had figured out, indulged him and often would hand him something that came in just that day. He would read curled up in a cozy corner getting lost in emotions and dynamics he only dreamed about. This was a safe outlet until such time that he was able to explore his dynamic in a healthy and nurturing environment.

In the meantime there were many years of frustration and often not even understanding his own wants and desires. Years of being told he was strange and a freak for the things he liked to do. It wasn’t till he joined the Royal Navy and travelled that his eyes were opened and he no longer felt out of place.

The group he found was diverse in their kinks and no shaming was allowed. The munch was all about camaraderie and finding others of a like mind. James was often content to sit back, listen and observe. He had played once or twice with those willing, but he rather enjoyed the social aspect. It made him feel not so alone. There was the core group that always showed up that formed a close knit circle with each other. Often a few new people would join and they were always welcomed. James loved observing those just discovering the kink community and exploring their own needs and desires. Tonight wasn’t any different.

James smiled at his table companions and joined in a lively discussion of non-sexual bondage, specifically Japanese Rope binding. It was a favorite of his. His quiet manner often put people at ease, especially submissives who were just finding out about themselves for the first time. James was a sensualist and liked to Dom through touch. He also liked a sub who needed him to take over, make decisions, and help them organize their world when it became overwhelming for them. He didn’t often like to cause pain, he saw too much of it in his line of work. In fact, James had come off of a long mission and needed the distraction of the group.

Every so often his eyes would wander towards the front of the pub when someone new would come in. James had been trained as a keen observer and even in a group he could relax and be himself in, he never eased up on the vigilance. No one asked what he did for a living, no one asked anyone what they did for a living. Work was just that, work. It had no place at their table, so to speak.

James had been deep in conversation with SilkMaiden, some liked to use their kink names, others their real names, all forms of address, were respected. James smiled at Silk as she described her last play session with a young woman who loved to be tied up in all kinds of positions. Every so often his eyes wandered once more around the pub and especially to the front door. That’s when it happened.  _ He  _ walked in and took James’ breath away. Glasses falling down his nose, jumper sleeves pushed up past his elbows, long and lean he looked around, lost at first, fingers wrapped around a bag slung over one shoulder, tapping out some kind of mysterious code known only to the young man. When he looked their way he started to walk towards the group. A bartender stopped him on his way and James could just make out his order. A glass of scotch and whatever boxty was the special of the day.

James sat up a little more, not bothering to straighten his own jumper, he eased back against the booth and let his eyes bore into the man approaching. Something about him had James intrigued. 

“Oh, um..hello. Is this the Roses and Ropes group?” The man asked as he fidgeted. James observed him for a moment and figured out that it was partially nerves, but partially the young man’s own mind. 

“Oh, yes it tis’. Come we’ll make room. I think if James over there moves closer to Silk there is just enough room. Welcome, welcome. It’s always nice to have someone new.”

The young man looked over at James and smiled, dipping his head just a bit. 

“And, what should we call you? If you don’t want to use your first name, that’s fine. We don’t stand on ceremony here.”

Sliding on the bench next to James, the young man pushed his glasses back up his nose and smiled awkwardly for a moment.

“I guess you can call me Q.”

“Q. That’s unusual.” James spoke, his voice pitched a little lower than normal.

“Yes, well it’s a nickname I’ve had for a bit. I rather like it.”

“Somehow, I think it suits you.” Q looked to the side and at James. He swallowed a few times before his drink was served to him. James watched the pulse point in his neck jump and he had the urge to gently run his thumb just so over it. 

“Oh,” Q slowly let the breath he had been holding in as he turned to the table and gripped the glass, taking a slow sip. James watched him the whole time. Silk slapped him on the thigh and leaned into James.

“Don’t scare him off, Jamie boy. He’s cute.”

James laughed and draped an arm over Silk’s shoulder then he let her go as food started to be served to everyone at the table. Q would have to wait a little longer for his dinner to arrive. Talk was slowed down or quieted as everyone enjoyed what they were eating, James kept noticing little things about Q that had he been the younger man’s Dom, or even lover, he would need answers for. The circles under his eyes, the nervous tics, the way he looked wary of his surroundings. A part of James wanted to gently touch Q on his shoulder or thigh, to give him something else to think about or help quiet his mind. 

When his food finally did arrive, Q asked for a takeaway box. James watched as he slid half of his meal into the box, then heartily ate the other half. James’ urge to get answers from the young man had to be curbed, they had just met, but those protective instincts rose up which James had to quash for the time being.

After plates were taken away, drinks refilled or not, the group moderator brought up the topic for the night. This time is was dynamics and consensual power play. James had never really been one for power play, but he listened as everyone weighed in with their views on the topic. When Q spoke about his own feelings on power play, he gave good arguments for both sides. His hands, especially those long fingers, never stopped. James wondered for a moment if Q had ever had someone to calm the frantic speed at which his thoughts moved through his head. 

James weighed in and commented he was not a fan of power play, there was too much potential for abuse or for things to go terribly wrong. Q had heartily agreed with him. 

After the time ticked past way too late o’clock, James announced he needed to head home and try to get some of that elusive sleep everyone talked about. The group laughed and James started to head out the door. When he thought about Q, James turned around and took a  card out of his wallet handing it to Q.

“If you ever find yourself in need of someone, call me.” James got a smile and that was enough for him till they met up once again.

______________

Six months passed, missions went the way they usually did, either everything went as planned, or something got royally fucked up. James was currently on some downtime because of two missions in a row that went utterly tits up. One was bad intel, the other the informant was a total asshole and sold James out. He escaped and still took down the small syndicate that was trying to get a foothold in England. 

It was also six months of getting to know Q more. He had come to every Roses and Ropes meeting, talking a little more about himself, opening up and participating in some lively debates. James’ admiration towards Q grew as time went on. There was a strength to Q that James found very attractive. He was content to watch, and to wait. 

He didn’t have to wait too much longer, in fact. After the last group meet James was relaxing in his apartment with a book putting M, missions, MI6 and a myriad of other concerns out of his mind. Sipping some coffee, because James rarely slept these days, the things he did for Queen and Country often weighed heavy on his mind. His civilian phone ringing had him curious on who was phoning him this late on a weekday.

“Bond,” James tried to keep his voice even as he answered without looking at who was calling. Very few people had that particular number and James felt safe answering.

“Thank fuck your answered. I...I didn’t know who to call and you told me I could call anytime and really I just...I need...fucking bloody hell I don’t know what I need....it’s just, everything is too much, too big and I...”

“Q...”

“I didn’t know where to turn and you’ve always been so put together in group and I maybe making a massive mistake, but please..”

“Q...”

The rambling continued for another minute and James knew Q needed to get it all out.

“ _ Q!” _ James used a more forceful tone that finally got through to the young man.

“I’m sorry.”

“Do you need me to come to you?” 

“Yes!” The relief in Q’s voice had James wondering what had the young man so worked up over. 

“Do you need me to stay on the line with you?”

“Yes, please.”

“Text me your address and I will be there as soon as I can.” James got up from the couch and moved to the kitchen where he grabbed a travel mug and poured more coffee into it. He wasn’t sure what he was going to find when he got to Q’s flat so he put a comfort kit together and threw it all in a small duffel he had for other such occasions. James had switched to a bluetooth earpiece to keep Q talking. He was there as a sounding board, Q didn’t need him to interfere in his ramblings till it was actually important.

James got the text and knew the general area of Q’s apartment. He took his car, traffic wasn’t going to be too terrible at that time of night, and James didn’t want to deal with waiting for the tube. 

Finding parking, James told Q he was there and that he was hanging up, but to not worry he would be ringing his apartment in a few moments.  James was a little wary of the lift, it looked ancient and ready to fall apart, opting for the stairs James ran up the five flights and soon he was knocking on Q’s door. 

“Oh thank god you’re here.”

James just smiled as Q let him in. What James found he wasn’t shocked that Q had gone into overload. Schoolwork was scattered all over the floor, but so were takeaway boxes and mugs of cold tea. The kitchen didn’t fare any better as dishes were in the sink and tins of tea littered the small counter. James quickly looked them over and noticed they were all of a highly caffeinated variety. James went back to the small living room and set his bag down on the couch.

“Okay, first thing is, you pick up your school things and set them up next to the couch. Then strip down to just your boxers.”

“But...”

James leaned against the arm of the ancient couch, waiting. He could tell Q was fighting a small battle with himself then he let out a rather long sigh and bent down to gather up the books and papers from his University classes. Piling those in a neat pile, Q stripped down and waited. 

When James was satisfied, he took the crocheted throw off the couch and folded it neatly and set it aside. Grabbing his bag he pulled out the large, but extremely comfortable blanket and spread it out on the couch.

“Lie down.”

Q didn’t question it as he stretched out on the couch, the blanket was soft and James often used it for sensory play, or to calm an agitated sub, which was what he was going to do with Q. Kneeling next to Q James reached out and stopped.

“May I touch you, Q?”

Swallowing his nervousness down, Q nodded. James went right for Q’s head, first taking off his glasses and setting them on the little side table. James began by running his fingers through Q’s hair gently pulling and rubbing as he went.

“God, that’s glorious.” Q sighed and James could see him sinking into the calming effects of the head massage. After a few moments from one breath to the next Q fell into a light sleep. James pulled the blanket around him, tucking him in tightly from head to toe. Q sighed once more and appeared to melt into the blanket itself. James smiled that rare smile of his as he stood up to go find a rubbish bag to pick up the detritus around the living room. 

After that was done, he grabbed the various mugs and took them to the kitchen. Putting the tins of tea away, James looked to see if there was something decaffeinated that he could make for Q.

He figured that Q would sleep for about an hour or so, even with him puttering in the kitchen. He would wait to find out what it was that had sent the younger man into a panic spiral. For now, James would do what he could to lessen the stimuli around the apartment. He had a feeling that was a big part of the panic. 

Setting a kettle on with fresh water, James had found an herbal tea that had camomile and blueberry. Setting that aside, he worked on the dishes, which didn’t take long as Q didn’t have many. 

Deciding that Q probably had eaten very little that day, James looked in the fridge and found eggs, cheese, and a few stringy vegetables that were already going bad. Grabbing his phone, James found the nearest grocers that would deliver that time of night and called in an order. This didn’t call for takeaway, Q had been having too much of that from what James could tell. 

James grabbed the rubbish and took it down to the bin. When he got back, he put the kettle on the hob and set out two clean mugs and a teapot with some of the herbal tea. When he was done doing that, the knock at the door had him pulling his wallet out of his trousers to get the money for the delivery boy. Once that was done, James set about chopping and filling a large beat-up pot that Q had stashed in the bottom of a cupboard, with broth, the veg and some fresh herbs. A good vegetable stew would be light, but also filling.

The bone-in chicken breasts, James slathered with olive oil and spices. He browned them in a pan, then set the oven to roast them while the stew simmered. After getting all of that done, and the makings for fresh soda bread, the water was boiling. James poured it over the loose tea and let it steep. He wanted to go check on Q.

The younger man was waking up as James walked to the couch and had Q sit up. Sitting down, he pulled Q to where he was still wrapped in the soft blanket, but sitting on James' lap now, glasses on, his hair mussed but some of the dark shadows under his eyes looked like they had faded a little.

“Can you tell me what happened?”

Q leaned against James, putting all his trust in the man and James wasn’t immune to that. One of James’ kinks was taking care of the subs that had put their trust in him. He had not had someone like that in a while and it felt good to him to indulge in that side of himself. It was a contrast to the hard, seemingly unfeeling spy that he needed to be on missions. Curling his fingers in Q’s hair, James pulled a little making Q moan and relax even more against James’ body.

“Everything just became too much. I’m working on my thesis in computer engineering, with my blueprints spread out for my mechanical engineering project, and some other work I need to finish, its too much. I didn’t know where to focus. I saw the mess around me and then I was calling you.”

“This isn’t the first time, is it?”

Q closed his eyes and shook his head. 

“No. I never had anyone to turn to before. I would just crawl into bed and try to forget everything, or leave it all and go to a club and find a Dom for the night, but I know that doesn’t work because the problem doesn’t go away. It’s still there and I have to try to deal with it the best I can.”

James had come to care about Q over the last few months. Even if they have only seen each other half a dozen times, they had sent messages back and forth, with an e-mail here and there. James could tell Q needed looking after.

“Up. First, you are going to have some tea without caffeine. Then a hot bath and after something to eat we will sort out your work. I’m positive you have not had a decent meal in days living on takeaway, yes?”

“Yes.”

“Will you be good and do what it is I tell you to do?” James was all about consent and this wouldn’t work if Q didn’t give it. So far he had been going along with what James had asked him to do, but now was the time for James to know that Q was all right with everything.

“Yes. Yes, Sir.”

James lifted a brow, he had not asked Q to call him anything other than James. The fact he had used Sir all on his own told James that he was not only okay with everything so far, but he wanted it, and James considered the fact that Q  _ needed _ him to take over.

James stood and went to Q’s bedroom and looked in the dresser till he found what he was looking for. Some soft sweatpants and an old, oversized tshirt. Walking back to the living room, James handed them to Q who quickly put them on. Q kept looking towards his laptop, his fingers doing a complicated rhythm against his thigh. James picked up the laptop and slid it in his duffel, putting it out of Q’s sight.

“Hey..” Q looked completely lost. James didn’t say anything as he went back to the kitchen and poured the tea into the two mugs and set them down on the little table in the corner. The stew was almost done and when he looked at the chicken he could tell it was close as well. 

Q slipped into one of the chair’s at the table and poured a little milk in his tea. There was no sugar on the table, James had a feeling he had too much of that as well. 

“You will get your laptop back after you have your bath and something to eat.”

Q sipped the tea and closed his eyes at the soothing warmth. 

“It’s perfect.”

“My mum taught me to always make the perfect cuppa.”

James got the soda bread ready to go in the oven after the food came out. He sat across from Q and took a sip of the tea waiting for him. 

“Q.” James waited till the younger man’s eyes were even with his. “If this happens again, I want you to phone me right away. If I can’t be there for some reason, I will stay on the phone with you till you feel okay again. No more seeking anonymous sex, or hiding away. You need to take care of yourself and I’d like to be the one to help you do that.”

James knew this was asking for Q to put his whole trust in James. Q sipped his tea for a few moments, almost like he was settling his own mind.

“Yes. I...I think I’d rather like that.”

Q drained his cup then made his way to the bathroom. James heard the water start and knew Q was going to be a little while. He would check on him in about a half an hour to make sure he had not fallen asleep. Getting his book from the duffel, James stretched out on the couch after refilling his mug and picked up where he had left off.

When his bath was done, James was there with an oversized and indulgently soft and absorbent towel to dry him off. The shadows under Q’s eyes lessened a little more, they were not as dark and deep as before. James helped him get dressed once more, then it was sitting on the floor on either side of the coffee table, a thick bowl of the vegetable stew, some slices of chicken and soda bread broken into chunks to sop up the broth from the stew. James allowed a second bowl of stew, but had packed the rest of the chicken away. 

“That was delicious.”

“I can teach you to cook simple things, Q. There is no reason you should be having so much takeaway. I assume you are on a tight budget?’

“I have a small trust from my grandparents I am living off of, but I make it stretch. I also take on some computer projects, and do tutoring at school. I’m not going to go broke.”

“Hmm.” James was tempted to give Q some money to help out, but he had a feeling that would be taking things too far, at least in these beginning stages of whatever it was they were becoming.

“Were you also working?”

Q nodded and James finally got the full picture. University work, getting his thesis in order and clients no wonder Q had felt so overwhelmed.

“All right,” James stood and gave Q his laptop back. “Show me your client projects and what you deem most important. Do you have a time schedule?”

Q pulled up the spreadsheet and James went over with him, prioritizing each project according to the time it would take to complete, the clients needs, and which ones were closer to completing.

After that was Q’s schoolwork. It was his Master levels and after looking at what Q was doing James helped him work out a better schedule.

“No more trying to do twenty things at once, Q.”

“Quincy. But...you can call me Quinn.”

James knew this was a big step for the boffin, it showed James the trust Q was putting in James’ hands.

“Quinn. Now, I think it is time for you to get some proper sleep. Come on.” James once more pulled a couple of things out of his duffel which Q looked on with curiosity. Getting to the bedroom, Q slid down under the covers. 

“I’m going to put a sleep mask on you. If it bothers you, or you don’t like it, tell me.” James waited till Q nodded his agreement. The mask was light, but it blocked out all light and any stimulus that could interfere in a good night sleep. “Tell me how you are, Quinn.”

“I’m good. It smells wonderful.”

“Lavender. It helps with centering your senses.”

James took the other thing he had brought with him and laid it over Q’s body. 

“Oh. Oh that’s...”

“A weighted blanket. It’s not a terribly heavy one, but it’s just enough to give you a similar sensation to being lightly restrained.” James had learned in one of the group get togethers that Q liked being bound.

“That’s fantastic.” Q’s words were slurred making James chuckle. He once more ran his fingers through Q’s hair till he could tell Q had finally fallen asleep. Turning off the light and closing the curtains James left the room. He was going to sleep on the couch and be there for Q in the morning to make sure that he was alright. He made a mental note to get Q some blackout curtains for the bedroom, and some good heat and cold blocking curtains for the living room. They would help with Q’s senses and give him some relief that the thin curtains he currently had didn’t.

James turned off the lights, locked the door and stretched out on the couch after taking off his shoes and socks. For once, James was able to actually fall asleep.

______________

James woke early like he usually did if he actually got sleep. The couch hadn’t been the worst thing he ever slept on, but it wasn’t the best. Knowing he needed a shower and a change of clothes, James went about his normal morning ablutions and felt a little more human than he had in some time.

Getting into the kitchen, James put a fresh kettle on and pulled a few things out of the fridge to make a proper breakfast. He was tempted to go full English, but he knew a lighter meal that was high in protein and vegetables would actually be better for the boffin. After planning what he was going to cook, James silently moved through the small apartment to check on Q.

Leaning in the doorway he watched Q sleeping snuggled under the weighted blanket. James watched a moment more and in that time he could admit to himself that he could easily fall for the younger man. Shoring himself up he pushed those thoughts away. He knew just by being with Q that he could possibly put him in harm’s way. James, though, was never smart about those he cared about, even if it came back to bite him in the ass later.

Pushing out of the doorway, he went back to the kitchen and fixed breakfast. Then he would have to leave, which James was finding harder to do than he thought. Q came into the tiny kitchen, looking disheveled from sleep and James had the urge to kiss him, but he held back and concentrated on what he was doing.

“Tea is ready if you want some.”

Q just hummed as he shambled over to the pot, pulled a mug from his cupboard without even really looking and poured his cup. He grabbed the milk carton and splashed a little over the top and made his way to the table. James watched as Q pulled off his glasses and rubbed sleep from his eyes and absently sipped at his tea.

James worked in silence, pushing down emotions that he didn’t want to deal with. He didn’t know how old Q was, but if he had to guess he would say around 23. James felt old, even if he really wasn’t. But, moving from one agency to another, and at times getting in way over his head on missions, James felt older than his years, but being around Q made him feel young. Q made him smile and that scared the crap out of James.

“Thank you, James for last night.”

“You don’t have to thank me, Quinn. Now, eat your breakfast I need to get to work.”

James knew Q wanted to ask, but he wasn’t going to. There were some barriers that James wasn’t willing to break down just yet. He finished his cup of tea, then gathered up the things he had brought over to help Q. It was quick and efficient and James was out the door without another word. He wasn’t sure if he was being a coward or not, but James needed a little distance to set himself to rights. 

Getting home, James put away the blankets, then took a long, rather cold shower. He needed to clear his head if he was to be any use to his country. By the time he was dressed in one of his impeccable suits, James felt more like the spy he was. Emotions were locked away in a box inside his mind as he left to go do his duty for Queen and Country.

______________________________

James was sitting in a small sidewalk cafe in Belize. The day was warm but not unpleasantly so. The country was beautiful, if not still a little wild. The large expat community that he was ordered to infiltrate and seek out the head of a drug cartel that had been making moves in France, England, and Wales had carved out their own area. The intel Six had was solid that the person behind this new cartel was a British expat. 

James sipped at the strong coffee and eating some fresh Pan Dulce. James smiled and thought about how Q would absolutely love this sweet bread. Shaking his head, James knew he couldn’t think of the younger man at a time like this. He was supposed to be observing and shadowing his target. Carefully James cut his bread up into bite sized pieces that were just big enough to dunk in his coffee. Normally he didn’t enjoy many sweet things, but he always did enjoy the ethnic sweet bread. There was something so very complex in the simple bread. 

James kept a keen eye on the man who was being called El Mago, or The Magician. James assumed he got the nickname because he had the uncanny ability to slip out of most traps that had been set for him. James knew this was an important mission and he couldn’t go rushing in and making a scene. This called for subtlety. M was often surprised when James restrained himself. Even he knew when the time called for a softer approach. Sipping his coffee and appreciating his surroundings while keeping one eye on El Mago, James was a little startled when his personal cell phone rang. Without missing a beat, he pulled it out to see who was calling him. 

James was surprised when it was Q’s number that flashed across his screen. 

“Q. Is everything all right?” James let a smile play across his lips, the camera he had been carrying with him was on the corner of the table and at just the right angle for him to get several shots of El Mago and the group of men he was having a rather enthusiastic conversation with. The camera also picked up voices, even ones as far away as the group was.

“No. No, I’m not all right. The prototype for my thesis is not going well and I don’t know how to fix it. I haven’t slept and it’s due in a week, James.  _ A week. _ ” Q kept rambling on and James just let him till he wound down. 

“Where are you now, Quinn?”

“The cafe near my flat.”

“How long have you been there?” James kept his eye on the table he was watching as he talked to Q.

“Um, a while?”

“How long is a while, Quinn?”

“I’m not sure. I’ve been hunched over my computer.”

“I want you to get up and go to the counter and give the phone to whoever is manning it.”

“But...”

“Quinn.” Just saying Q’s name in a tone that brokered no arguments, James waited patiently while he kept his eye on El Mago. He sipped his coffee and smiled at the pretty waitress as she came out to refill his cup. 

“This is Anna, is there something I can help you with?” James tried to picture the young woman and remembered her from when he had picked up some coffee and pastries to deliver to Q one morning when James got worried when he had not heard from the boffin in a couple of days.

“Anna, darling...” James used all of his charm as the young woman answered. “I need you to do me an immense favor, love.”

“Is this James from last week?”

“You have a good memory.”

“I know Quinn’s order by heart. What is it you need?”

“I need you to cut off Quinn’s caffeine for the rest of the day. Has he had food other than sweets?”

“Um...well not really.”

“Hmm, that’s what I thought. Okay whatever soup you have and one of those panini sandwiches that you have on the menu. Whichever one you think Quinn would like best. The camomile tea as much as he wants. If he is still there in two hours, whatever evening special you have serve him. Even if he refuses, leave it with him.”

“Are you sure?” James could hear the amusement in Anna’s voice and chuckled softly. One of the men from El Mago’s table looked over, but James put on a flirty smile and appeared to be reading the local paper. The man turned back around not paying any more attention to James. 

“Oh, darling, I am quite sure.” James had his wallet in his hand and pulled out one of his personal cards and rattled off the number to her and told Anna to charge everything to his card. He then asked to speak to Quinn.

“James?”

“You are going to eat, and Anna is switching your tea. You need to calm down, Quinn. Do you have something to read that isn’t University related? Something for pleasure?”

“Yes. I ah, I have my kindle.”

“Good. Close up your computer, have some tea and the food Anna is going to be bringing you and let your mind rest. Give yourself an hour then, and only then go back to your project. Now, I have to go, but you can call me. I might not be able to answer right away, but I promise I will get back to you.”

Q was silent for a moment, James could hear him taking a few deep breaths. He heard the quiet snick of a laptop closing, the scraping of a chair and a quiet hum. 

“All right. Thank you, James.”

“I don’t know when I’ll be back, but when I do get home do you want me to come over?”

The silence stretched between them, but James wasn’t flustered by it, he knew Q often weighed important decisions in his mind before he made his choice one way or another.

“Yes. I ah, I think I’d rather like that.” Before James could respond the phone went silent. He knew Q had hung up, but it didn’t upset him. He had heard a bit of emotion in Q’s voice which did things to James’ own heart he was far from ready for.

___________________________

The mission hadn’t taken long. It was information only and for once James didn’t go off half cocked. There was more at stake there than getting El Mago. It was a whole network and Six was willing to work with the Americans CIA and the Canadians CSIS. James left and was home in two days. A part of him wanted to go right away to Quinn’s apartment, but he wasn’t sure if that was really a good idea. He had become attached to the younger man and thought that might have been a bad idea on his part. But, there was something about Quinn, something warm and vulnerable, but strong as well that spoke to James. Quinn’s intelligence was also a huge turn on. 

James walked to his liquor cabinet and pulled out a bottle of whiskey, pouring himself two fingers before walking to his balcony and standing in the night air looking out over London. James had never considered himself a man of deep thinking, but Quinn brought that quality out in him and frankly a part of him was terrified. Leaning against the railing, James sipped his whiskey and considered what to do about the Q problem, as he dubbed it.

Downing his drink, James strode back into his flat, grabbed the keys to his vehicle, as well as his wallet then was out the door. He had not bothered to change out of the clothes that he wore as he settled into the driver’s seat and peeled out of his parking spot and out onto London streets. He drove too fast and a tad too reckless as he made his way towards a singular destination, which was most assuredly not Quinn’s. 

The private club James drove up to you wouldn’t be able to tell what it was from the outside. It was nondescript, though had a touch of class and elegance. No name on the building and the windows were all blacked out. The door had a keypad and only those who were members could type in their code and the door would open. 

James went inside, took the wristband that let others know he wasn’t drinking then strode up to the bar and asked for black coffee. Taking a seat on the outskirts of the dance floor where couples and more, were doing things that were almost this side of illegal, James just watched. 

There were rules, but most of the club’s patrons pushed them to the limit, sometimes going a bit beyond. As long as no one was getting hurt and it was all consensual the owners let some things slide. Outright fucking in front of everyone was one of the few things that would get you thrown out. But there were more ways to get off than sinking a cock into a hole.

James drank his coffee, then signalled for a waitress to bring him more. Even though he only had a small amount of whiskey, he wanted to be sober and clear headed. He was there for one reason and one reason only, to try to get Quinn out of his system. He didn’t need, nor want the complication. James knew of his promise to go see Quinn when he returned home, but he also knew that was an awful idea. Going to him now would only make James want to keep him in his life. Which was a completely stupid, complicated mess James was far from ready to deal with.

After finishing a third cup, then using the restroom, James stalked the club and after about a half hour found exactly what he was looking for. A pretty dark haired sub with blue eyes who was willing to be whatever it was James wanted her to be for the night. She was someone he had played with before and they knew each other’s limits well.  When he was buried deep inside her, after playing hard with her for almost an hour, James could almost forget Quinn. He would once more ignore the emptiness that always came after his physical needs were satiated. Aftercare came first, he wasn’t a complete bastard or a thoughtless Dom. He cleaned up, took care of the condom himself and ignored that hollow feeling that crept it’s way deep inside of himself.

Getting home late that night James took a hot shower and continued to ignore the feelings that had been plaguing him all night. It took some doing, but by the time he was crawling into bed, he could pretend to himself that he wasn’t fully invested in Quinn. 

_______________

Missions became James' whole world for the next couple of months. He even avoided the group not wanting to face Quinn or the way he had ghosted him. James knew it was irresponsible of him. He had made a commitment to a sub and was now pulling away and going back on the commitment without actually telling said sub.

He knew his teacher would give him a good earful, but Saito wasn’t around and James had not spoken with him after he went into the Navy. That was a bone of contention between the two men. James had found ways to satisfy his dynamic. It was surprising what one could actually get away with on a ship. Secret rooms, supply closets, bribing an officer to use their room for a couple of hours. It wasn’t always ideal, but James found ways.

Retiring was almost a relief. He could fully explore his inclinations and not have that fear of being caught hanging above his head. Now, he knew he was doing everything wrong because in the time he had gotten to know Q, feelings crept in.

James was settling in with a glass of whiskey and a dinner of takeaway. He was indulging in some fish and chips from the little chip shop around the corner from his apartment. He rarely went, but the mission, and being away from Quinn were both making him feel unsettled. The food and the drink James knew were only masking the problem.

James was halfway through his food when there was a loud, somewhat angry sounding knock at his door. Frowning, he wiped his hands on a napkin, silently stood and grabbed the gun he kept within reach, cocked it before he got to his front door. 

No one outside of Six and Alec knew where he lived. The knock was more urgent this time and James carefully opened the door, pointing the gun at whomever was there. When he saw the not so surprised look on Q’s face, James pressed his lips together before uncocking his weapon and slipping it into the waistband of his jeans.

“How did you find  this address?”

“If you know where to look, it’s not hard.” Q stood there, arms crossed over his chest, his jumper rumpled as was the shirt that was poking out the bottom. Slacks too big for him hung loose, and his ridiculous hair was disheveled. There were deep, dark circles under his eyes and he looked paler than normal. James sighed and stepped back letting the younger man inside.

“What do you want, Quinn?” James tried to sound as stern as he could. Maybe if he put on a good enough show Quinn would get the message and leave.

“I want to know why you are being a right arsehole.”

James moved back into his living room which, frankly wasn’t much to look at. There wasn’t much to say that someone actually lived there. The place boasted of a couch, coffee table, a mounted flat screen television, and a single uncomfortable looking chair. No pictures on the walls, no knicknacks, nothing the make the place even feel close to being a home. 

Q watched him for a moment after James sat back down and continued eating his dinner. James watched the younger man out of the corner of his eye, he was intrigued by what Q was going to do. James contemplated the answer he was going to give as he ate. Quinn walked over and sat in the chair. James almost chuckled at the frown on his face.

“I should ask how you found me. This address is not public knowledge.”

Q smirked as he crossed his legs and picked at imaginary lint on his trousers.

“I am far from stupid, James. I know who you work for. I’ve been breaking into MI6 for years now and they have yet to catch me. It wasn’t all that difficult to get into your employment file.”

“You little minx.” James finished his fish and chips, threw away the detritus away and finished off the whiskey he had poured. “What gave me away?”

Q leaned forward and sighed.

“You didn’t really. But, when you know what to look for, it’s not hard to figure it out.”

James leaned back on his couch. He put his right ankle on his left knee, undid his tie and the first two buttons of his shirt, and stretched his left arm on the back of the couch. He knew he was making a display of himself, but he also was trying to get comfortable because he had a feeling this conversation was going to get very uncomfortable quickly.

“And, may I ask why you know what to look for?”

“You can ask. I’m not ready to tell. Not until you tell me why you’ve ignored me these last couple of months.” Q glared and for a moment James thought he looked more like a kitten. Then he looked closer and saw the pain behind those eyes. Pain he knew he had put there.

James took a deep breath and made a tentative decision. He knew he was going to have to use words he so rarely used. He was a quiet man by nature and the discussion of feelings wasn’t something he was used to. Even the therapist he was made to see after his parents died was frustrated by his lack of communication.

“Come here, Quinn.” The tone brokered no argument and while Q looked reluctant he stood and made his way to the couch. James grabbed Q’s hand and gently pulled until the younger man was sitting next to him. 

“You know what I am. I’m going to assume you know the danger those close to me could potentially face. I don’t want to put you in that kind of danger, Quinn.”

“You should know that I already have a place waiting for me at MI5. I have my advanced degree and I always planned on working my way into MI6, James.”

James turned on the couch and had to take a moment to reorient his thought processes to when it came to Quinn. There was much more to him than James initially thought.

“And why would you in your right mind want to do that?” 

Quinn laughed and shook his head before looking at James like he was completely mad.

“Because it was always my goal. In fact, I aspire to become the Quartermaster.”

James took a deep breath then wiped a hand down his face. He wasn’t even really sure what kind of response was appropriate in this particular situation. He had been recruited to MI5 right out of the Navy and wasn’t fully prepared for what it meant, even though he had worked Intelligence. James was already jaded by the time Olivia Mansfield got at him and put him on the mission that cemented his 00 status.

Looking at Q, even as tired and hurt as he looked, there was a grim determination that James admired. Reaching out across the small divide between them, he waited until Q nodded in agreement. James gently caressed under Q’s eyes where the dark circles seemed to deepen by the minute.

“You haven’t been sleeping. I’m going to assume that you’ve been living on tea and crisps.”

Q visibly swallowed and closed his eyes at James’ touch. It was the first almost romantic touch that James had shown Q.

“You wouldn’t answer your damned phone, and you haven’t been to the group. I didn’t trust anyone else to help.”

“Quinn...” James let his hand fall onto the couch and took a deep breath. “You have to understand that what’s between us...there is a deep connection between a Dom and a sub. It’s more than just taking care, more than the toys, ropes, and restraints. A connection between two people who lay themselves bare, no secrets, and the utmost trust and respect. 

“I backed off because there is potential to have that deep, meaningful connection. It could also be used as a weapon against either of us. I don’t live my life safely. I make rash decisions in the moment and I know what I am, Quinn. Losing you...even in the months I’ve gotten to know you, has the potential to destroy what little humanity I have left.” James had spoken more to Q in the last few moments than he had the whole time they have known each other. There was something about Q that made James want to be better. That was something that scared him, but Quinn coming here tonight made him think that maybe, just maybe, there were possibilities.

“James, I know what you are. I know who you are. But, you are the only person who has ever understood me. You know what it is I need and you don’t let me spin out of control. These last few weeks, finishing school, I’ve needed you, James. I...”

James closed his eyes a moment and knew how much he had messed up. He had made a commitment to a sub and he backed away from that commitment. He almost felt like he should be the one to be punished. Tilting his head to the side he knew what it was he had done and he didn’t like himself very much at the moment. 

Soundlessly James stood up from the couch and went to his closet and pulled out the weighted blanket. He wasn’t going to be able to fix his past mistakes, but he could make a gesture to Q to show him that he was willing to begin again. This time with both eyes and his heart more open. Walking back out to the living room James gestured for Q to stand. He spread the blanket out and lifted the corner of his mouth in an almost smile.

“Take off your shoes, socks, jumper, and glasses.” The tone was closer to that which he used as a Dom, but not quite. He and Q needed to talk about what this was between them and they needed to discuss their likes and dislikes in greater detail. For now, he could help fix one thing at least.

Q wordlessly did as James asked and stood there waiting. James took a moment and knew if he made this gesture, there was no going back. It only took looking in Q’s eyes for James to nod to himself and push on.

“Lie down.” 

Quinn didn’t hesitate as he stretched out on the long couch. Once settled, James wrapped him in the blanket. The tension in Q’s shoulders almost visibly melted away as James watched. James left to go back to his room and grab a pillow. Before sitting down, James put the pillow under Q’s head then sat near him. Leaning back James carded his fingers in the messy hair and started to gently stroke and pull. Before too much longer James heard Q sigh and moan as he relaxed even more. When Q fell asleep just moments later James knew he was fucked.

_____________________________

It was almost a week later, James had a mission that almost went sideways, but he got his man and though he never felt good about killing, no matter the cause, he felt good that an upstart drug cartel had been stopped.

Getting home after the usual debrief James just wanted to sleep for days. He had been running on adrenaline and needed the downtime. He was bone tired in more ways than one. He also missed Q which made him pause a moment as he lifted the glass of whiskey to his lips. Stepping out onto his balcony James knew he had a decision to make. 

A relationship with Q would both be easy and complicated. He knew there were rules about agents dating, but they were mostly administrative. Cross agency relationships he had no clue about and would need to speak with Tanner about that. He had little care about rules though. He usually did what he wanted anyway.

James finished his whiskey, sent a text to Q to let him know he was home then trotted off to bed after a long hot shower. Sleep came quickly and easily even with everything that was on his mind.

He had plans to take Q to the club later that evening, he wanted the Boffin to understand what it was he was getting himself into, and the club was a good place to discuss the dynamics of their budding relationship in greater detail. It was neutral ground, if they stayed in either apartment, they would keep skirting the issue, and James wanted to take this very seriously. 

James had been specific with Q on what to wear and how to style his hair. He knew Q had a few nicer things in his closet that would be appropriate for the club. As James stood in front of his mirror and doubled checked to make sure he was dressed the way he wanted. The trousers were perfectly tailored, as was the button up, and vest. He chose a casual sport jacket instead of the suit jacket and a moment later he was out the door.

Getting to Q’s apartment didn’t take long at all and when Q opened the door James raised a brow and took a deep breath.

“You look stunning, Quinn.”

“I feel ridiculous.” Q blushed at James’ words. 

“They’re your clothes. You should hold your head high. You may be a sub, but you aren’t a pushover or weak.”

Q looked up at James and smiled as he tucked his hair behind his ear. 

“Would you like to come in for a moment?”

“Yes, there is something we need to talk about before going.” James stepped inside and shut the door behind him. He pulled something out of his pocket and held it in both hands. “Where we are going is an exclusive club and there are strict rules. You can say no. You always have the power to say no and I will respect that.”

Q looked a little worried, but James stepped closer and cupped his cheek.

“This is for your safety, and perhaps a bit of piece of mind.” James held up what he had in his hand and Q just raised a brow. “This is a play collar. It has no meaning other than you are taken for the evening and aren’t looking. Subs who go by themselves and seek out a partner often go bare necked. This, though, tells the others you are not looking. It’s a sign to not approach, and do not touch. In fact, no one at the club should touch you without your express permission.”

Q held out his hand and James handed him the collar letting him decide on his personal level of comfort. It only took a moment for Q to put the collar around his neck and smile at James.

“Quinn...” James sounded wrecked as he took in the look of the boffin from head to toe. Black jeans that looked painted on, dark blue button up, and fitted black leather vest that showed off Q’s shape perfectly. The black boots were an added bonus. Q had gone one step further and darkened his eyes a little with mascara to make his lashes stand out, a little eyeliner, and a dark swipe of color on his eyelids. Q was wearing his contacts as James had asked him to. James took a deep breath to settle himself, then held out his hand. Q took it with no hesitation.

On the short drive over there was only small talk between them. It helped to settle the both of them down as they drew closer to the club. James pulled up to the valet and handed over his keys after he waited for Q to leave the car. After punching in his code to gain entrance, the two walked in together.

James held out his wrist for the bracelet denoting no alcohol and before Q could say anything, similar was being put around his wrist. James once again held out his hand and Q took it and wrapped his fingers with James'. In his other hand James had brought a small bag with him, which made Q knit his brows together in curiosity. James just smiled as he pulled Q along past the main entrance curtains.

It wasn’t a slow night, but it wasn’t a packed house either. There was a nice mix of people, and the energy was high.

“Our table.” James led him the reserved table and slipped a little coin he had been given into the slot for it at the edge. “Do you understand why neither of us is drinking alcohol tonight?”

Q looked around and James knew he was trying to get a feel for the club. Music was loud, the dance floor had several couples dancing. There were alcoves all along two walls that had Q curious, but he did not ask any question yet. James was enjoying the small, almost guarded expressions from the younger man. When he finally turned back to look at James he turned his lips up in a smile that utterly charmed James.

“Clear heads make smart decisions. I understand, James.”

James studied Quinn for a few moments before he reached in the bag he brought and pulled out a thin sheaf of papers. 

“One thing we need to do is go over what we expect out of each other in this relationship. Likes, dislikes, limits both soft and hard. I need to know what you are looking for and I need to tell you what I am and am not willing to do. 

“Here. An easy list for you to go over and we’ll discuss it after you read through it and give me concise answers, Quinn. If it’s a hard limit, you tell me. No choosing things that you think I want. This needs to be on mutual terms.”

Quinn took the papers James slid over to him and read through them carefully. He took the pen James held out and marked off each thing on the list with his wants, and his needs. James already knew that most of Quinn’s needs were more mental than physical, but he knew they both would explore the physical. It just depended on how much and how far Q wanted to go.

“There. You already know some of this, but I understand you wanting to cement things in writing. I just want to make sure you are really serious about this, James. I can’t go through that again. The no communication.”

James reached across the table and held his hand out for Q.

“I make you a promise that as long as I am standing, as long as I am able to, I will always come home to you.”

Quinn blushed deeply and reached out to curl his hand with James’.

“You have the potential to break my heart, I hope you know that.” Quinn looked up, green eyes shining with emotion that took James’ breath away for a moment.

“Then I will do my very best not to break it.”

A waitress came around and the two men ordered non-alcoholic drinks and a couple of plates of easy to eat finger foods. James loved the food at the club, nothing fried, no garlic, onions, or bell peppers. Spices were used, but kept low key. Everything was about the senses and the food reflected that philosophy.

Quinn was looking around while he sipped at his flavored sparkling water. James could see he had questions. He knew how to be patient. Quinn seemed to be watching as much as he could with interest and when their food arrived, he turned his attention back to James.

“What are those alcoves?”

“I was wondering if you were going to ask. They are areas that couples could play and either have some privacy by using the screens, or others can watch. There are rules. No full nudity. Breasts, vaginas, and cocks need to be covered. 

“No Dom and sub are allowed to play if this is their first time meeting. The bouncers here are very good and know what to look for. They may even ask before you can reserve an alcove. No sex, not even oral, or hands. A sub may come if they cannot hold back. But, it will not be because they have been touched. 

“The owners very much want to keep their club and violations are serious and can get anyone kicked out for violating the rules. The only exceptions are nights with planned exhibitions, and even then the club will go alcohol free. There are other rules, all of them for the safety of the patrons and the club itself. This is a safe place for everyone.”

Quinn sipped his drink and nibbled at the food. James could tell he was turning all of this over in his head as they sat there learning more about each other than they had in the previous months of their building relationship.

“Do you know how I know you are serious about this, James?”

James leaned back and sipped his own ginger ale and picked up a piece of toast with some goats cheese and herbs on it. He lifted a brow and waited for Quinn to elaborate.

“You have spoken more in the last hour than at any other time since we’ve met. I have the impression that you save up your words when it’s truly important, and this, whatever it is between us, is important.”

James lifted the corner of his mouth after setting his glass down and pushed it away from him.

“This is not a relationship to take lightly, Quinn. We will lay ourselves bare to each other and in doing so the trust that comes along is far greater than those in a more vanilla relationship. I broke some of that trust once, I won’t do it again.”

“I believe you. I think I understand now why you wanted neutral ground. You’re right. If we stayed at either one of our apartments, we wouldn’t talk like this. 

“Now, what do you want to do with the rest of our evening?” Green eyes sparkled with anticipation which got James’ blood rushing in his veins. 

“What I’d like to do is take you to one of those alcoves that I already reserved and show you just what it is to be your Dom.”

Q visibly shuddered, James could almost see his pulse jump just above the loose collar. 

“Yes. Please.”

James slid out of the booth, grabbed the bag he brought and waited for Quinn to follow. James walked ahead and felt the anticipation for where the night was now going to go. He had dreamed and fantasized about this since the day Quinn walked into the pub and joined Roses and Ropes.

____________________

James had Q in a pair of very fitted bike shorts, kneeling facing the wall with his arms wrapped in straps. This was a trust exercise for the both of them. James was trusting Q not to move while unbound, and Q was trusting James to give him what he needs. 

“Color, Q?”

They had agreed beforehand on the color system and if Q was too far in his head, James promised to bring him back up. The curtains were open and a small crowd had gathered around, staying a respectful distance as they sat at tables near their alcove. Quinn wanted to try a little bit of exhibitionism. Since this was a controlled environment, James agreed, but would close the curtains as he saw fit. 

They had started slow with a heavy knotted flogger that helped to center Quinn and slowly get him out of his head. James didn’t mind Q making noise, but he implemented a no talking rule for this scene. As they got to know each other better, and trust built up more between them, he could see them playing with Q’s rather smart mouth. In these early stages, though, it could be a distraction and take not only Quinn out of his headspace, but James out of his topspace. He needed to be in his topspace to properly control the scene.

“Green, Sir.” James had not instructed Quinn to call him that, but it did feed his ego a bit and helped him find his own center. 

“Good. We will move on. Remember, if you drop your arms, we are done for the night. Do you understand?”

“Yes, Sir.” Q was breathless as he gripped the straps even tighter.

“You’re so good for me, Q. We’ll continue with a different flogger. You don’t have to count this time. I want you as quiet and still as you can be. Understand?”

“Yes, Sir.”

“Good.” James moved around in the alcove and pulled a different flogger from his bag after wrapping the first one in a towel and putting it away. He laid a hand on Quinn’s shoulder and didn’t start until Quinn relaxed once more.

James had taken off his jacket, and the vest setting them aside. His sleeves were rolled up and the top buttons of his shirt were undone. He squared his shoulders and stood just to the side of Q. He heard several people behind him suck in a deep breath as he loosened his wrist by twirling the flogger like Saito had taught him years prior. The move was supple and practiced. He knew not all Dom’s took the time to learn the proper way to swing a flogger, he was proud of his skills and it showed in his practiced swing.

“One,” James said loud enough for Quinn and the crowd to hear. He knew there were others that had gathered and the music had dimmed a bit, giving the club a quiet anticipation. 

“Two,” James took a second swing, Quinn didn’t move, barely a flinch at that. There was a deep breath, and James was proud of how Quinn was doing.

“Three.” The impact was harder this time, leaving welts behind, Quinn barely bowed his body, but his hands tightened on the straps. James would only end the session when Quinn safeworded or he got to ten, whichever came first.

“Four.” This was the same impact as the previous one. There was a collective intake of breath behind him, but James tuned them out. He understood that the show they were putting on was affecting others, but James wouldn’t turn to look. His focus was solely on the sub on his knees in front of him.

“Five.” Harder, a sharper intake of breath, flexing of hips, deeper breathing, but Quinn was sill upright and holding on.

“Six.” James called out each number in an even, but commanding tone. This time the flogger impacted much of Quinn’s back, the red welts were getting redder, and Quinn was still holding on.

“Seven.” James gave Quinn all he had and Quinn almost broke, the sound he made was a strangled cry, but he caught himself. James noticed that his body at this point was more relaxed, his shoulders had lowered and James knew he would need to check him in a moment.

“Eight.” James gave no quarter with the last three impacts. Q was shaking and James knew he was almost at his limit. Now wasn’t the time to push. Not until they knew each other better in this aspect of their relationship. James threw the flogger on his bag and stepped up to Q. He gripped Q’s chin and forced him to look up at James.

“Tell me how you are, Q.” It was not a question, but a demand.

“Green, Sir.” The words were slurred and James knew it was time to pull Q back a little. He was plied with some water and made to stand. Quinn was shaky having been on his knees for some time at that point. James got Q in a chair then grabbed the curtains and made to close them. When he looked at the crowd that gathered, James gave them a smug smile and a tilt of his head. There were some light applause as he closed the curtains.

“Do you hear that, Quinn? What they felt watching you?”

“Yes. It’s rather lovely, isn’t it?”

James got on his knees in front of Quinn and laid a hand on his thigh.

“Yes, because you are stunning, Quinn. And, I have a feeling this is just the beginning.”

Quinn smiled as he reached out and touched James on the cheek. James stood and kissed Q on the forehead. When he did he looked at the shorts and saw a wet spot.

“I’m sorry...” Quinn looked worried, but James was actually flattered.

“I didn’t tell you that you couldn’t come, Quinn. Let’s get you changed and another bottle of water. We will walk out of here when you can stand, then we are going back to my place. I have better resources to take care of you.”

Quinn nodded and tried to help James to get him redressed, but his limbs didn’t want to cooperate. James just chuckled softly and helped to clean Q up and get him back into his street clothes. When he was done, he got Quinn up off the chair, and a bottle of water was pressed in Q’s hands.

“Drink it all.” James was still riding the high of an almost perfect scene. He watched closely as Quinn finished off the water, then told James he need the restroom. Helping the sub off the chair, James got him into the restroom closest to the private alcoves. Once Quinn finished, James paid their tab, gathered their things and helped Quinn to the car. It didn’t take long to get back to James’ flat where he ran a hot shower and got Quinn under it. Afterwards, as Quinn laid down on his stomach, James used soothing oils to keep Quinn’s skin soft and plaint. The danger of skin thickening was always a concern. 

When Quinn fell into a light sleep James crawled off of him and slipped off his sleep pants and pulled the heavy covers over the both of them after laying beside his lover. James wrapped around Quinn holding him close and let himself hope for the first time in too long of a time. 

James thought of all the things that could go wrong and why being in a relationship with Quinn was a bad idea, but at the moment he didn’t care. He was invested now, Quinn had wormed his way into James’ heart and there was now no turning back. James would protect what he now saw as his, even if he had to kill to do it.

________________________

_ Two years later _

James walked through MI6 at a clipped pace as he made his way to Q-Branch. The mild distress he heard in Quinn’s voice James knew his sub needed him. Quinn was currently working as the right hand of MI6’s Quartermaster. As James walked into Q-Branch, Boothroyd just looked at James and smiled.

“He’s in my office.”

James only nodded at the Quartermaster as he went into the office to find a distressed Quinn sitting on the couch. James closed and locked the door behind him before going over to Quinn.

“Kneel on the floor.” 

Quinn looked up, pupils blown, stress written all over the sub’s face. The collar James had given him a few months before peeked out of the jumper he was wearing. Quinn slid to his knees next to the couch and James sat down, and gently gripped the too long hair and pulled ever so slightly. Quinn’s mouth dropped open and it was like strings on a puppet had been cut. Some of that stress dropped away and Quinn was being guided to lay his head on James’ thigh.

“There now, love. It’s all right.” James would ask questions later, right now was the time for care.

“I saw the explosion. My heart...”

“Shhh, now. I’m here, Quinn.”

James knew what sent Quinn into the spiral. The mission was supposed to be a milk run and James ran back up for Alec. When it looked like things were going well, James was to back off and return to the UK, leaving Alec to finish the mission. On the way home something happened and it went tits up. Alec was in hiding after a car that James was supposed to have been in publicly exploded.

“I thought...”

“I know. But, what did I promise you?”

Quinn closed his eyes as he buried his hands in James’ pant legs.

“That you would always come back to me.”

“And I do my damndest to keep that promise.”

Quinn’s shoulder relaxed as he nuzzled against James’ leg. 

“What do you need, Quinn.”

“I need for everything to just stop.”

James gently tugged on Quinn’s hair, pulling his sub’s face up so he look in Quinn’s eyes. “Come here.”

James moved over until he was on one end of the couch and hand Quinn crawl up to lay down with his head in James lap. Curling his fingers once more in the unruly hair, James gently tugged a few times, then scratched until he felt the breath leave Quinn. James quietly talked to Quinn telling him stories of his childhood before his parents were killed. These moments it wasn’t as painful as it once was. He could keep his family alive, in a way, and he knew how much Quinn liked to hear him talk, even if it was nonsense.

“I love you, James.” Quinn moved up closer so his face was buried against James’ stomach. A hand snaked under James’ shirt so Quinn could get to skin. A hand splayed over James’ stomach and Quinn let go even more.

These were the moments that James treasured the most. The gentle intimacy, giving Quinn what he needed to get him out of his head. The scenes at home and at the club were a different kind of release, but this, now were the times when there needed to be an emotional and mental release. James could tell by Quinn’s breathing that he was beginning to fall into a light sleep.

“I love you too, Quinn.” James confessed for the first time since he had met Quinn two and a half years prior. It took time for them to get where they were and James wouldn’t trade that time for anything in the world.


End file.
